Beer Review: Short's Soft Parade

Beer: Soft Parade
Brewery: Short's Brewing Company
Location: Bellaire, MI
Variety: Fruit beer
ABV: 9%
Price: ~ $12 six pack

I should disclose here that I've had two Short's beers since I've started this blog and I neglected to review both. Oh, they weren't bad. The Pandemonium Pale Ale was quite good (I'd give it 8/10) and the Bellaire Brown was not bad either (6/10). I guess Short's just has the bad luck of falling victim to my poor memory two times in a row while Founders could release a bottle filled with nothing but spit and pencil shavings and I'd still roll over and give it a 9/10 AND have the review up the next day.

So. I'm sorry Short's.



Soft Parade is brewed with several types of berries: strawberries, raspberries, blackberries and blueberries. What, no loganberries? I believe it's a summer seasonal, though the Web site makes no mention of that. Regardless, fruit beers are usually good for summertime.

It's a very attractive beer; the pictures don't much do it justice, I'm afraid. The color is a very cherry red, with a light pink, foamy head that builds and builds and lasts forever. Very frothy. The scent is of what you would expect: tart berries, with a sort of marshmallowy background with some sugar thrown in for good measure. The sweetness doesn't carry over to the beer, though. It's actually quite tart, bordering on sour, and was at times unpleasant for me. At least it means they likely used real berries and not artificial flavor. I found the finish somewhat flat and watery.

I'm torn on this one. At points I liked it, and I certainly like the concept. But in execution it felt flawed and wasn't much fun to drink. I'll probably give fruit beers a break for a little while since I've never met one that truly WOWED me.

Rating: 5/10 - I kind of want to say to this beer "It's not you, it's me."

Product Review: Zingerman's Bakehouse Brownie Party

Name: Brownie Party
Company: Zingerman's Bakehouse
Location: Ann Arbor, MI
Price: $9.99 for four-pack

Brownies. No, wait, let's try that again. Brownies. That's better. Thick like a cake, chewy like a cookie, chocolately like... chocolate, brownies are perhaps the ultimate desert. I'm aware of the somewhat played-out Internet meme of Cake vs. Pie (fact: cake is better) but brownies might be better than both of them COMBINED. Especially when they're Zingerman's made.

Don't know Zingerman's? If you live in Ann Arbor, you should; if you come to Ann Arbor, you will. The company is the culinary darling of the city, offering up premium, tasty breads, sweets, and meats. Their Roadhouse is a comfort-food lover's paradise. Don't believe me? They have a section on their menu devoted to mac and cheese. Now you believe me.

I picked up their Brownie Party sampler bag to get a little taste of everything they have to offer. And to get fat. Always getting fat. *cry*



The bag consists of Zingerman's four usual suspects, (clockwise, from top left) Buenos Aires, Black Magic, Pecan Blondie, and Magic. They have other seasonal variations, but I believe these four are available year round for your snacking emergencies.



Let's go in order! The Buenos Aires consists of two Black Magic brownies with a layer of dulce de leche sandwiched in the middle, topped with praline almonds and burnt sugar. Get all that? Yeah, this thing is decadent. Nigh heavenly, even. The brownies are chewy and delicious on their own, but the dulce de leche in the center really makes it. It has a cool, sweet quality that brings the whole package together into a soft, sticky delight. All while managing to not be too rich!

Rating: 8/10 - Creamy and cool with a pleasant sweetness that's not overwhelming.



The Black Magic is the neutered version of their "regular" Magic brownie. No nuts, that is. It has a rich chocolate flavor, but what really impresses me is the texture. The perfect brownie texture: soft and CHEWY but with a slight crumbliness to it. Don't ask me how you get that texture; I'm no baker. But this brownie nails it. Moist and tasty, if not as fancy as the Buenos Aires.

Rating: 7/10 - No surprises, but uncommonly well done.



The Pecan Blondie. "Pecan praline in a butterscotch brownie, topped with sea salt." That's Zingerman's description. Mine is "Forged in the depths of Hell by Satan's own personal baker with the sole purpose of tempting mankind down the path of sin and sugar and pecans." Can I convey how FANTASTIC this thing is? I don't think words are adequate. My eyes rolled into the back of my head when I bit into this. A touch of salt precedes an explosion of buttery pecan awesomeness swirling with cool, gooey caramel notes that don't quit until you're done slowwwwllllyyyy chewing because YOU WILL SAVOR THIS BROWNIE. Simply put: this thing is evil and cannot be resisted, so don't try.

Rating: 10/10 - Kittens riding on the backs of dolphins through an ocean of rainbows while Solsbury Hill plays in the background.



Poor ol' regular Magic brownie has to follow Pecan Blondie. I've expended the bulk of my wordpower, so I'll just say this was my least favorite.

Rating: 6/10 - I'll just say this was my least favorite.

Overall Rating: 9/10 - A hefty price for four brownies, but all are pretty damn good, and odds are good one will AMAZE you like Pecan Blondie did to me.

Halloween 2009: Spooky, Spicy and Seasonal Beers

Ahhh, autumn. Of the four seasons, is any so pleasant? The nights grow cool, the air turns sharp, and the trees shed their leaves in a gaudy display of colors that are rarely seen at any other time of year. True, some lament the loss of summer's long days and roasting heat. But I lived in Florida for 22 years and I feel I've seen all that heat and humidity have to offer. Lemme tell ya, crisp and cool is where it's at.

Additionally, we probably have a stronger cultural link with fall than any other season. Most major American holidays happen in the fall or winter, so fall is often associated with family and all of the wonderful traditions that go along with it. Hot apple pie, turkey with potatoes, and crowds of friends and family gathered around the T.V. watching clutch college football games or the World Series. Fall brings a sense of finality to the year, and if it's been a rough year (I think 2009 qualifies) then it serves as a reminder that better things may be on the way.

Of course, one of the most beloved fall traditions is Halloween. I've never really been big on celebrating the actual holiday (I'll just buy the candy, thanks.) But I do love the imagery. I love monsters and g-g-g-ghosts and all things hairy-scary, and I can't imagine fall without Halloween or vice versa. The jack-o-lantern is the perfect symbol for fall: a succulent, hearty harvest vegetable turned into a macabre deathmask. It's the marriage of summer's bounty and winter's gloom, not to mention being fun to carve.

But what of beer? Oh, my friends, the beer. Oktoberfest! Beer with spices! Sporting events.... with beer! Is there a better time to be a beer lover than fall? I say nay! The warmth a good beer brings on a chilly night is a sensation unparalleled. And brewers usually bring out the big guns at this time of year to try and top each other. So which offerings are a treat this year and which ones are just tricks?



Name: Jaw-Jacker Ale
Brewery: Arcadia Ales
Location: Battle Creek, MI
Variety: Spiced Beer
ABV: 6%
Price: ~$10 six pack

AHHHHHHHHH!!! This bottle scares me! That's seriously like a piranha's jaw sewed onto a pumpkin or something! If I saw that thing comin' for me you can best bet I wouldn't just be headin' for the hills, I'd be buying real estate in the hills and then erecting a giant piranha-pumpkin destroying fortress.

Anyways, I previously reviewed Arcadia's Angler's Ale and I liked it well enough. How is their scaaaaaaaaaary beer?



The color is a dark, clear amber with a light, off-white head. The aroma is cinnamony, nutmeg, and pumpkin, all fairly prominent and pretty close to actual pumpkin pie. The taste isn't quite as uniform. The beer is quite malty on initial sips, somewhat citrusy and spicy on the finish. It's not bad, but I could do for more spices.

Rating: 5/10 - Possibly a good introductory spice beer, but not as killer as the label art.



Name: Octoberfest Beer
Brewery: Bell's Brewery
Location: Kalamazoo, MI
Style: Oktoberfest
ABV: 5.8%
Price: ~$9 six pack

Ah, good ol' Bell's. Arguably the most recognized Michigan-based brewery, they've established themselves as a solid brewer that produces approachable beers as well as adventurous fare (one of which I'll be reviewing soon). Their Octoberfest has hit, but for a limited time only! Many places I've been to are sold out or close to selling out with this beer, so grab it now if you want to try it!



This beer also pours an amber color, but with a thick head that lasts a good while. The scent is toast and grainy, with just a tiny hint of spice hiding somewhere in the background. The taste is light with creamy malts and a fair amount of yeastiness. Some people I've talked to have complained about the yeast, but I quite like this beer. It's crisp without being too sharp, and is refreshing like a lager while being pleasantly complex. Again, if you haven't bought this yet, do so before it amscrays!

Rating: 7/10 - A winning beer that befits the season.



Name: Screamin' Pumpkin Spiced Ale
Brewery: Michigan Brewing Company
Location: Webberville, MI
Variety: Spiced beer
ABV: 6%
Price: ~$10 six pack

Sheesh! What's with the pumpkin assault? Or maybe this guy isn't attacking but is instead fleeing from the Jaw-Jacker (shudder). I wasn't keen on the only other Michigan Brewing Company beer I've reviewed, so let's see how the pumpguy fares.



SP pours out a bright blood-orange sort of color, with the same sort of watery body and light head as the Nut Brown Ale. It smells great! Very sweet and pumpkinny, like a pumpkin tart or cinnamon cookie. The taste is equally sweet and surprisingly creamy given the light pour of the beer. Some may find this beer too sweet, but I'm of the mind that if you're going to add spices to a beer then you shouldn't hold back!

Rating: 8/10 - Sweet and savory, a surprising treat.



Name: Ichabod
Brewery: New Holland Brewing Company
Location: Holland, MI
Variety: Spiced beer
ABV: 4.8%
Price: ~$10 six pack

Gotta love the Headless Hessian! Even if the name Ichabod is slightly inaccurate - Ichabod was the guy getting CHASED by the Headless Hessian! Read more Washington Irving, kids.



Amber-orangish! Starting to see a pattern with spiced beers? This one is lightly fizzy with a small head that dissipates quickly. Headless beer for the Headless Hessian, eh? It's either clever or unintentional. The scent is mostly malty with a light hint of spices. Unfortunately, this carries over to the taste. Aside from a light, lingering nutmeg flavor at the finish, this beer tastes very average and not at all very spiced.

Rating: 3/10 - Boo! Fails to deliver the goods!



Name: The Poet
Brewery: New Holland Brewing Company
Location: Holland, MI
Variety: Sweet stout
ABV: 5.5%
Price: ~$10 six pack

OK, so this isn't technically a Halloween beer. Heck, it's not even seasonal! But come on: ravens are spooky, Edgar Allan Poe is spooky, and if there's a color that associated more with Halloween than orange and black, it's purple! OK, possibly slime green, but that's more of a recent color. So I think this beer fits the season!



It pours out black and thick (surprised? It's a stout!) with a tan, creamy head. The aroma is that of well-roasted coffee and oatmeal, and is quite pleasing if not as mocha-scented as Founder's Breakfast Stout. Toasted oatmeal mingles with roasted coffee for a pleasantly drinkable and dry overall flavor. This was a nice follow-up by New Holland after the disappointing Ichabod. One unpleasing beer does not a company make!

Rating: 8/10 - A pleasing and smoky stout, tailor-suited for dark beer lovers.

Hope you liked this Halloween ho-down! If I happen to find any more interesting fall season beers, you'll hear about them right here! Contact me at mibeerguy@yahoo.com if you have any comments, questions or suggestions

Recipe Review: PB & J (or AB & S)

Welp, school is back in session! After a summer spent with a good balance of lounging and working, it's time to get back to book crackin' and essay writin'!

Of course, already my schedule is shot to hell. 8 a.m. classes, homework, and lots of reading have a way of interfering with downtime. So for the rest of the semester I'll probably have fewer complex recipes and more product reviews. Of course, that doesn't mean I'll be eating just a bunch of junk! I think last week's toad-in-a-hole review proved that good things can happen quickly! And what's faster than a good ol' PB & J sandwich.

"That's boring!" you say. Well, FINE Mr. Pickypants. How about I jazz it up a little bit? Today I'll be using two very nice, Michigan-made sandwich spreads, in addition to my favorite bread this side of Lake St. Clair, Avalon Bakery's good ol' Farnsworth Farm Family Bread. It's the best of the best!



Name: Vanilla Almond Butter
Company: Naturally Nutty
Location: Taverse City, MI
Price: ~ $10 for a 15 oz. jar

Today, the part of peanut butter will be played by Naturally Nutty's Vanilla Almond butter. I confess, I've never paid anywhere NEAR $10 for a nut butter before. However, this ALWAYS seems to sell out at the natural foods grocery store where I work part time. Like, people come in and order cases of this stuff - buying jars for friends and family members and stuff like that. So I figured it was a good candidate to gauge Naturally Nutty's mettle as a serious nut butter producer! And you gotta be serious to work with nuts.



It's all natural, natch, so you gotta do the whole stir-in-the-oil thing before you serve. The first thing that hits you is the smell, which has the same sort of creamy, peanutty type scent of regular peanut butter, but oh man, there's a lot of other things going on. Smooth vanilla, peanut butter, hints of chocolate and hazelnut - despite the fact that it contains no peanuts, hazelnut or chocolate. It's an enigmatic scent, reminding me of several types of Halloween candy that I just barely remember the names of before it's dashed away by more vanilla. It smells GOOD.

And it tastes just as good. The creaminess of the vanilla hits you particularly hard, with a nutty finish that doesn't taste particularly almondy. This is fine with me, since almonds are not my favorite nut. The texture is nowhere near as sticky as peanut butter, with a slightly granulated feel to it. I'm assuming those are the flax and hemp seeds that are included for their nutritional benefits.

Is it $10 good? Not quite in my book, but it's pretty damned close. If you know someone who's a peanut butter junkie, grab them a jar and challenge their preconceptions.

Rating: 8/10 - Sweet, tasty and nutty, if a little pricey. Give it a go when you're feeling daring!



Name: Strawberry Jam
Company: Keeweenaw Kitchen's
Location: Baraga, MI
Price: ~ $5 for 10 oz.

Of course, you can't have PB without J. Today's J is actually S for strawberry. This particular jam hails from the Upper Peninsula, which is about as unlocal for Michigan foods as you can get - it's seriously a whole world away from southern Michigan. But the blog title says Michigan, dammit! SO I'M COUNTING IT.

The scent is much that of strawberry juice. There's a fair amount of sweetness here, but the jar says no sugar added, so I guess it's just sweet fruit! The taste is tarter, closer to fresh strawberries, with a nice, soft, spreadable texture. It's very good, but there's not really much to say! It's homemade strawberry jam, and it tastes about how you'd expect.

Rating: 7/10 - Yummy, but nothing you've probably never had before.



So how do they go together? To be honest, it's a bit of a situation where the sum is less than its parts. The almond butter tends to overpower the strawberry jam, and you only catch little strawberry hints in between nutty bursts. It's a good sandwich, but I honestly had more fun dipping my fingers in each jar and just snacking on the butter and jam separately. I guess it's tougher to reinvent PB & J then you'd think!

Final Rating: 6/10 - Use the jam for breakfast and the butter for sandwiches by itself!

Got an suggestions, questions or requests? E-mail me at mibeerguy@yahoo.com!

Beer Review: Founder's Breakfast Stout

Name: Breakfast Stout
Brewery: Founders Brewing Company
Location: Grand Rapids, MI
Variety: Imperial Stout
ABV: 8.3%
Price: $10-$12 four pack

I'm an unabashed Founders fanatic. I've only reviewed one of their beers, their pricey, wildly hoppy Devil Dancer, but I've tried all of their regular oeuvre and been impressed by every single one. Every week, I have to WILL myself to try something new and not just buy their Red's Rye P.A. I'm sickeningly smitten with this brewery, so take this review for the love letter it is likely to be.

Their Breakfast Stout is one of their seasonal brews, available only from September until around January. Having just gotten into stouts, I neglected to try this beer when it was available last year! Should I be kicking myself?



The beer pours thick and black - oil in a glass, I like to say - and acquires a thick, foamy caramel-chocolate head that is just beautiful. This is a seriously handsome beer and would turn many a head in any brew pub in the world. The scent is that of rich mocha coffee, chocolate, and alcohol. If you love the smell of coffee, you could spend a minute or more just sniffing this beer. It smells GREAT.

But oh my, the taste. Smooth, silky chocolate and rich bitter coffee coat your mouth instantly. Malty and full-bodied, creamy like milk, but with a bitter, biting coffee finish that gives you heavenly pause between sips. This is the type of beer that you will cause you to involuntarily close your eyes while you drink it. The type of beer that makes you say "WOW." all slow like. Words cannot express the sheer richness of body and flavor that await in each bottle, and I defy you to not drink the entire four pack in a single evening after taking the first sip.

It's hard to believe, but this may be my new favorite Founders. I've purchased it three times since it became available again, and every single time it was an absolute pleasure from the first drop to the last. Undoubtedly the "beer to beat" for the remainder of the year and recommended without reservations to anyone who proclaims themselves a lover of all things beer.

Rating: 10/10 - Sin in a glass. Rich and unyieldingly flavorful. Best beer I've had in a while.

Contact me at mibeerguy@yahoo.com if you have questions, suggestions, or requests!

Recipe Review: Toad-in-a-hole

Toad-in-a-hole (or whatever you like to call it!)
Recipe Link: Pioneer Woman

1 loaf of Farnsworth Family Farm bread by Avalon Bakery in Detroit, MI
Eggs from Grazing Fields Farms Co-op out of Charlotte, MI
Butter
Pepper
Salt
Clancy's Fancy Xtra Hot Sauce if you like!

Preparation
If you're an American and not some sort of horrible Communist, chances are you love breakfast! Similarly, if you're an American, chances are you work many hours a week and don't have a lot of time to make elaborate, gut-busting meals in the morning. (Fact: Communists don't believe in hard work.) Fortunately, there are plenty of quick, hot breakfast meals out there that will fill your belly without making you late for your appointed 9-to-5 drudgery. So drop that Propel and Clif Bar and make a proper breakfast, you Red Menace you!

Today's recipe, which has many names but which I prefer to call toad-in-a-hole because it sounds vaguely British, is about as easy as you can get. All you need is a slice of bread and an egg for each TIAH. Today, I'm using Avalon's Farnsworth Farm Family sourdough bread because it's damn delicious. You could conceivably pull off this recipe using plain ol' chemicaltastic white bread, but really. Really. Fresh bread is best bread.

Additionally, I'm using the good ol' Grazing Field eggs that I used way back in my botched deviled egg recipe. Let's hope I do them more justice this time!



First, melt a tablespoon of butter over medium-low heat. If you have problems with this step I suggest you quit. Just go quit life.



Crack egg. Put bowl. Don't you think eggs are pretty cool? I think they're cool.



While the butter is melting, we need to make a nest for our eggy. Taking an upturned glass (or, if you're fancy, a biscuit cutter)...



...we press it into the bread, twisting as needed...



And hey presto! Our bread has a great big hole in it and we've got ourselves a little bread circle. By now the butter should be suitably melted, so we can start cooking!



Plop the bread onto the pan...



And plop the egg into the hole! Get it? Toad-in-a-hole!



Salt and pepper the egg and bread as you like. I can't abide bland breakfasts, so I go nuts with the salt and pepper. But even if you don't like pepper or avoid salt, use a little bit. Please? The egg will thank you.

Cook the egg for about a minute and then carefully flip the whole package with a spatula.



Ohhhhhh, look at that buttery, eggy goodness. It's like some sort of wonderful little food present. Salt and pepper the backside, and cook for about another minute. I suggest periodically tapping on the yolk with a spatula to achieve your desired level of doneness. I like the yolks to be nice and runny, but if you want your egg over hard, just wait until the yolk feels firm to the touch.



Remove the skillet and guess what? You're done! What was that, like all of five minutes? See, there's no reason to not eat a hot breakfast. What were you going to do, eat a banana in the car? Forget that dumb fruit! I've got some salt and butter and egg that says YOU CAN EAT BETTER.



Trust me, this tastes GREAT just plain, but this is also a great dish to season how you like. I'm going with Clancy's Fancy cuz I likes the heat, but you could put just about anything on this dish that you would normally put with eggs. Bacon, sour cream, peppers, onions, mushrooms. Even ketchup if you're one of THOSE people. But whatever you do to it, this'll remain a fast, flavorful, fun dish for true blue AMERICANS on the go.

Rating: 8/10 - Easy as pie and tasty as hell!

Contact me at mibeerguy@yahoo.com if you've got any questions, suggestions, or requests!

Beer News: Biggest Brewers Hold 80% Market Share

MSNBC reports that America's biggest brewers may be engaging in anti-consumer behavior. The article states that both Anheuser-Busch InBev and MillerCoors, by far the two largest beer companies in the nation, are raising prices in tandem, during a recession, at a time when beer demand is down. Considering that the two companies control a whopping 80% of the American beer marketplace, this means that most beer drinkers are going to be taking a harder hit at a time when most cannot afford it.

The article's author, Rob Cox, suggests that it may even be time for government intervention. Personally I think that President Obama has more pressing concerns right now than the average cost of a six pack, but I would not be opposed to the Feds breaking up the current, foreign-owned beer conglomerates like they did to Ma Bell in 1984.

I don't think capitalism is any less or more evil than any financial system (hint: they're all flawed) but capitalism requires competition to truly be an effective system, and I think it's safe to say that AB InBev and MillerCoors have no true competition. This case also highlights a key paradox of capitalistic systems: competition is required for the system to thrive, but the ultimate goal of competition is to defeat your competitor. Therefore, any system left to its own devices while inevitably produce one or two winners and many, many losers - and cause the death of the Free Market. It is an equally large paradox, then, that government-issued rules and regulations are REQUIRED to keep a free market free.

In the end, though, this is just a greater incentive to me to support small brewers. The game is always stacked against the little guy, but now moreso than ever. Regardless of any government actions, consumers can always voice their allegiance with their wallet - and mine is to American-owned, locally produced beers whose quality matches their price.

Local-on-the-Go: Florida Beer Rundown Part 2

I don't know about you, but I love beer label art. Yeah, at its core, it's just marketing, but it can also be an expression of a brewery's philosophy or an area's character. Beer labels say something about where they come from and the people that make them, and sometimes they just help fit the mood of the beer drinker.

Name: Hurricane Reef Pale Ale
Brewery: Florida Beer Company
Location: Melbourne, FL
Variety: American Pale Ale
ABV: 4.8%
Cost: <$10 six pack

Take Hurricane Reef Pale Ale for example. That label just SCREAMS "take me out on the beach." Does it make the beer taste better? Well, not really, but it's like eating candy corn around Halloween versus eating candy corn in April. It tastes the same, but it doesn't feel the same.



The beer's color is a coppery amber with a foamy, bubbly eggshell-colored head. The scent is somewhat yeasty and fruity. The flavor is dry and hoppy with muted grapefruit accents. The initial sip is smooth and slightly sweet, but the finish is a bit sharper.

I've had worse pale ales, but I've also had better. However, I think most people would find this beer enjoyable, and it could be a nice introduction into microbrews for those unfamiliar with small brewery offerings.

Rating: 6/10 - Well-rounded but lacking in oomph; best enjoyed on the beach!



Name: Hurricane Reef Raspberry Wheat Ale
Brewery: Florida Beer Company
Location: Melbourne, FL
Variety: Fruit Beer
ABV: 4.7%
Cost: <$10 six pack

OK, so the label is the same as the Pale Ale, just red. No speeches about labels this time, I swear.



The color is sort of a burnt amber or sienna. I'm not sure - I'll have to check my 96 crayon Crayola set. The head is off-white and dissipates quickly. The scent is that of bubbly raspberry and malt. There definitely is raspberry flavor here, but it feels slightly artificial and watery. It is also quickly kicked off the tongue by general beer flavor. The result is an unbalanced and generally unsatisfying drink that isn't particularly refreshing.

It's actually not the worst fruit beer I've had. It's not even the worst fruit beer I tried while in Florida. That would be the Key West Southernmost Wheat, which I forgot to shoot. Probably because I only drank two before I decided the rest weren't worth it and I left them in the fridge, forgotten. Unpleasant and sour and just ick.

Rating: 3/10 - Unbalanced and unsatisfying, it fails as a fruit beer and a wheat beer.

Contact me at mibeerguy@yahoo.com if you have any questions, requests or suggestions!