Beer Review: Winter Bell's

A word to the unaware: if you're from a Sunbelt State and you ever move up north, lie about where you are from. For the first year, every time you meet people you will be peppered with "OH MAN JUST WAIT UNTIL WINTER ARRIVES GEEZ." Every year after that, you will be peppered with "SO HOW YOU LIKIN' THE WINTER?" It is INCESSANT. For some reason, Northerners can't fathom ever wanting to actually LIVE in the North. Whenever I say "Florida" to someone from Michigan, their eyes light up with an ethereal glint - a mingling of fantasy, jealousy, and disbelief. How? How could you leave behind that utopia of the tropics for this frigid, desolate waste?

Here's how Michiganders see Florida:



And here's how Michiganders see their own state:



Well you know what? I LOVE winter. It's awesomely cold so I get to wear big jackets, snow is beautiful, and there's less people out and about. And beer! Beer is great for the winter. Nothing beats sipping on a big, bad stout while snow falls silently outside and the Grinch plays on TV for the 1 billionth time.

Bell's is rolling out the red carpet a little early with an absolute tide of seasonal beers. I haven't picked up Expedition Stout and Cherry Stout yet, but expect reviews of both of them soon!



Name: Java Stout
Variety: Stout
ABV: 7.5%
Price: ~$15 six pack

Can't say no to a coffee beer! Don't know what it is, but for some reason the combination of bitter beans and roasted beer almost always yields a tasty tastebud-teasing treat.

Pours dark and thick, as expected, with a robust caramel-colored head. Scent is heavily that of coffee with some undertones of chocolate, roasted malts, and alcohol. Taste is primarily of balanced coffee beans with some chocolate undertones. Not as bitter as Perkulator and not as chocolately as Founders Breakfast Stout.

"Even-handed" is the best way to describe this beer. It's very tasty and drinkable, but when it comes to coffee stouts I tend to prefer the really "out-there" variety. But don't take that as a slight, Bell's!

Rating: 8/10 - Pleasingly balanced and bitter, if a bit conventional.



Name: Rye Stout
Variety: Stout
ABV: 6.7%
Price: ~$11 six pack

Why so sad, peasanty old lady/man? Is it because of the famine? Yes, then that would be a cause for sadness. But cheer up! You're a Bell's beer!



Pour is dark with a light tan head. Not as thick or oily as most stouts. Aroma is a general roasted pastiche of bread, rye, and coffee. I don't taste very much rye, honestly, and the beer has an unexpected creamy texture that gives it a slightly weak feeling to me. Good bitter finish, but overall this lacks pizazz.

I was disappointed by this beer, just because I typically like rye beers A LOT. In the end, it feels slightly weaker and conventional than most of Bell's stouts. I'd go with the Kalamazoo Stout any day of the week.

Rating: 7/10 - Far from my favorite, but far from bad. Not Bell's best, but still solid overall.



Name: Winter White Ale
Variety: Belgian White
ABV: 5%
Price: ~$10 six pack

Fun fact: Not every winter beer has to be a stout!



I know! Amazing, right?



The beer pours yellow and cloudy, almost like lemon juice, with a bubbly white head. STRONG aromas of citrus (lemon and orange particularly) with even a little bit of banana, pineapple, spice, and alcohol (despite the low ABV). Flavor is zesty with a nice zing that reminds me of spiced apple cider. Sort of like a winterized version of Oberon, but more flavorful and more satisfying.

Rating: 9/10 - I'll be picking this up again once the snow starts to fall, I can tell you that!

E-mail me at mibeerguy@yahoo.com to berate me for reviewing Bell's too much.

Beer Review: Great Lakes Brewing Co. seasonals

I've waffled for a bit on whether or not to do this review. Why would that be? The bottle says Great Lakes Brewing Co.! Michigan is the Great Lake State! What could be more Michigandery than a brewing company named after the Great Lakes?

But the bottle is deceiving. The brewery is actually based out of Cleveland, Ohio! Now, this is all kinds of wrong. First off, Michigan borders FOUR OUT OF FIVE of the Great Lakes. Ohio borders ONE, Lake Erie, which is arguably the worst of the lot. It's the smallest by water volume, the shallowest, the warmest, and the most polluted. Secondly, Ohio and Michigan are archenemies. Thirdly, I have an irrational hatred for the state of Ohio - it's flat, it's boring, and it once tried to kill me with a near-miss car accident in Cincinnati. Take my word for it, Ohio is plain bad news.

But that doesn't mean good beer can't come out of it! And Cleveland is only about three hours or so from Ann Arbor, which meets my requirements for "local." So, begrudgingly, and just in time for Halloween, here are two seasonals from Lake Erie Brewing Co.!



Name: Nosferatu
Variety: American strong ale/Red ale
ABV: 8%
Price: ~$10 four pack

Ah, good ol' Nosferatu. The grand daddy of all vampire movies, this classic 1922 silent film remains one of the most faithful (unofficial) adaptations of Bram Stoker's horror classic. Nosferatu himself is also one of the classic movie monsters - his misshapen form, bulging eyes, and rodent-like fangs have ensured him an enduring legacy in popular culture long after silent films went the way of the Dodo.

Vampires are the hot thing right now. Sadly, they just don't make them like they used to. I mean, which do you think is more frightening and memorable?





That's what I thought. The film is public domain and is available for free on YouTube, so give it a watch if you're feeling retro/scholarly.

Oh, right! The beer.

It appropriately pours a dark brown-red, nearly the color of dried blood, with a foamy yellowish-white head. Spooky, no? Aroma is outdoorsy and hoppy with a pretty strong alcohol scent. Flavors include caramel, malts, but with a well-blended hoppiness that gives the finish a strong, pleasing bite.

This is a very unusual beer - you don't come across many ales quite this strong and strange. But it's also a superb offering from Great Lakes. It's smooth and pleasant to drink with a nice twist of supernatural weirdness.

Rating: 9/10 - Perfect for a party or night of spooky movies!



Name: Glockenspiel
Variety: Weizenbock
ABV: 8%
Price: ~$10 four pack

Hmmmm. Great Lakes' Web site says this beer is only available from May until June, but I recently found it on the shelf at Whole Foods and I am CERTAIN it had not been on the shelf the week before. Maybe it was a late arrival. Oh well! The name sounds German, so I'm going to call it Oktoberfest appropriate, s'allright?



Hey, this actually looks really similar to Nosferatu! I swear I didn't screw up and post the wrong pictures. Nosferatu is MUCH more red looking in person and Glockenspiel is much more yellow-orangish with significantly more haze. Aroma is yeasty with some slight fruity notes. Taste is.... well, it's supposed to be plums and bananas and raisins and other types of fruit, but it just tastes astringent and somewhat mediciney to me.

I should say I don't get on with German-style beers to well. If you do, then by all means!

Rating: 5/10 - Not a badly made beer beer, but certainly not for me.

Beer Review: Arbor Brewing Co. Jackhammer

Hard to believe I've gone this long without reviewing a single beer from the most high-profile Ann Arbor brewery, Arbor Brewing Company. There's a couple of different microbreweries in town, but ABC, to my knowledge, is the only one that bottles their beer for sale outside of their brewpub (which, I should note, is an excellent bar!) But enough from me! It's time to write about righting a wrong! Wait...

Name: Jackhammer
Variety: Old ale
ABV: 8.5%
Price: ~$11 six pack



Jackhammer pours a very dark brown with a slick, oily appearance. The head is small, slightly khaki, and diminishes quickly. Aroma is that of caramels, toasted cereal grains and a fair bit of alcohol. The flavor is slightly nutty and malty with a strong alcohol finish. This actually has one of the strongest alcohol flavors of any beer I've tried, and it gave me quite a good little headache!

This is a decent offering, but not my favorite of ABC's. Of their bottled variety, my favorite are Bavarian Bliss and Brassiere Blonde. I've also had their Oktoberfest on tap at their pub and that was delicious! Goes to show you can never judge a brewery on just one beer.

Rating: 5/10 - Not really worth the price and ow my head.

E-mail me at mibeerguy@yahoo.com if you ow my head.

Founders taproom visit and Harvest Ale review

In my life, I've only taken a handful of trips that could be described as "pilgrimages." Pictured Rocks was one. Sagamore Hill was another. And if Bill Watterson ever decides to speak in public again, that will be a third.

My short visit to the Founders taproom in Grand Rapids didn't have the deep, personal fulfillment that would constitute a fourth spirit quest. But holy smokes, was it ever worth the 2-3 hour drive. Good beer is worth inconveniencing yourself for, especially when the beer in question is available nowhere else in the world. Not to mention some of the best in the world.



And it was my solemn duty to try as many new beers as possible. Were I a stouter fella, I would have tried them all since the same beer from the bottle and from the tap can taste wildly different. But I was the one doing the driving, and getting a DUI would have put a damper on the experience, I think, so I had to limit myself to just SOME of the new stuff.

I apologize if these reviews seem truncated. I didn't take notes since I was at a bar, not MATH CLASS, and it was too dark to take good photos. But! I can at the very least remember what I likes, so here's what I likes.

Name: Black IPA
Variety: India Pale Ale
ABV: 6.6%
Price: ~$3 for 12 oz.

Unsurprisingly, pours black with a tan head. Thicker than a typical IPA but not as thick as a stout, or possibly even a porter. Scent is similar to Founders Centennial IPA, but the taste is creamier and more roasted while retaining a nice hoppy quality.

Rating: 8/10 - Nice variation on a familiar beer. Wish I had picked up a growler of it. This is my face right now.

Name: Hand of Doom
Variety: Double IPA
ABV: 10.5%
Price: ~$7 for 12 oz.

Seven dollars for a single beer?! What am I, some sort of combination of Rich Uncle Pennybags and Mr. Burns? What could possibly justify such a cost?

HAND OF DOOM, that's what. I'm gonna skip over pour and scent and just tell you straight-up that this beer kicks major ass. Insane hops bring a tumbling, creamy cavalcade of citrus onto your palate that never lets up. Intoxicating in every sense of the word, it was very difficult to not buy more than one.

Rating: 10/10. Founders, bottle this now. PLEASE. Doing so might very well result in world peace.

Name: Newaygo County Cherry
Variety: Fruit Beer
ABV: 8.5%
Price: ~$7 for 12 oz.

This was the other super specialty beer on the menu, and I can understand why. The bartender said it was brewed with cherries from Newaygo County that had been allowed to ferment in maple bourbon barrels for 130 days. THAT'S what you'd call a pure Michigan ingredient.

The result is a beer that pours a lovely pale red color with a pinky head. Scent and taste is heavily of creamy cherries. Taste reminded me very much of cherry conserves. Not too sweet and not too tart, this is one of the best fruit beers I've ever had.

Rating: 9/10 - Great seasonal offering, and wholly unique.



Name: Spite Pepper Pale Ale
Variety: Spiced Beer
ABV: 5.5%?
Price: ~$3 for 12 oz.

Spite Pepper is an aptly named beer. The finish on the drink can be best likened to someone holding a pepper grinder over your open mouth and giving it two good turns.

It's harsh. And my circumstances while drinking this beer were particularly ill-suited to its brutish nature. You see, to curb my growing inebriation, I decided to partake in one of Founders' delicious deli sandwiches that they serve at the taproom. I chose the Devil Dancer. This is what is in the Devil Dancer.

Roasted Chicken, Muenster And Pepper Jack, Jalapeno, Chipotle And Banana Peppers, Red Onion And Chipotle Mayo On A French Roll.

You think this sandwich is spicy? It is! That's why I picked it! I love spicy foods, but when you pair a spicy sandwich with a drink that is NEARLY AS SPICY, you run in to trouble.

Spite Pepper isn't bad, but it HAS to be paired with something smoother and cooler than it. Some nice cheese or chocolate would probably work very well - I just got unlucky.

Rating: 3/10 - Purely circumstantial. Don't make my mistake.

Name: Super Gold
Variety: Golden Ale
ABV: 5%? Can't remember. May be less.
Price: ~$3 for 12 oz.

Pours golden with a bubbly whitish head. Forgot to smell this one! That's what happens when you take the work out of drinking beer, kids. Flavor was crisp, clean and balanced. A bit of a lightweight offering compared with some of their more oddball stuff, but not bad.

Rating: 6/10 - Good for beginners. More seasoned beer fans can pass it and not miss out.

The taproom itself is lovely. It's very classy, with liberal use of hardwood and Founders iconography. The space is wide open with many large tables for large or small groups. I went on a Friday night, so it was pretty packed, but it didn't feel overly crowded.

However, there are few if any intimate spaces to be found - no booths or tables for two, or even partitions to break up the space. People craving entertainment from their bars will also be disappointed with the lone pool table by the entrance. At Founders, you better be ready to drink beer and socialize, because that's what you're going to do.

But the staff was courteous, fast, and well-informed. The crowd was happy and welcoming, and the overall atmosphere was jovial. If I lived in Grand Rapids, I'd probably go here every week - and not just for the ridiculously good beers.

Rating: 9/10 - Must be on the "To Visit" short list of any Michigan beer lover.



But! I'm not yet done! This month also saw the release of Founders wet-hopped Harvest Ale. Typically, hops are dried before they are used in the brewing process. This is because fresh or "wet" hops are only available for a short time out of the year. That time is right now!



Name: Harvest Ale
Variety: IPA
ABV: 6.5%
Price: ~$11 four pack

The beer pours astonishingly clear, with an orange-gold color. The head on mine died quickly, but I think it was because my glass was wet and it killed the carbonation a little bit. Whoops.

Scent reminds me of wet grasses and straw. "Picturesque old barn" is what I wrote down following the first whiff. The grassy, fresh feeling carries over to the taste as well. It's funny, but this beer really does taste "juicier" than most ales. The finish is pleasantly fluid and smooth. Unlike any beer I've tasted before, but surprisingly drinkable!

Rating: 9/10 - October release only! Get it while it's fresh!

E-mail me about how jealous you are to mibeerguy@yahoo.com.

Product Review: Achatz Handmade Pie Co. pumpkin pie

I've already pontificated about my love of the fall season, so I won't reprint my lengthy love letter here. Long story short, fall is awesome. OK, this one has been a little rainier and cloudier than I would like. But I find a certain beauty in the unpredictability of weather. Mankind has gotten very good at stripping the wildness from the world, but weather remains unbroken. Hell, if climate change predictions are correct, then our weather is going to get even MORE crazy. Just think of weather as Mother Nature's own personal A-Team. (I think Dirk Benedict would be hail storms.)

What's that? Oh, I'm rambling again aren't I? Sorry about that. *ahem* PIE! Not just pie, but pie in the fall! And you know what that means? PUMPKIN PIE! Possibly the most beloved of all the pies, pumpkin pie is one of the great fall foods. I suppose you COULD make pumpkin pie in the spring, but that would be like celebrating Christmas in July. Just plain wrong. I'm not much of a baker, though, so today I'll be sampling the pumpkin pie by Achatz Handmade Pie Co. based out of Armada, MI.



As you can see, my 8-inch pie cost $11.99 at Arbor Farms Market in Ann Arbor, MI, but Achatz pies seem to be available across Southeastern Michigan so prices may vary widely. Twelve dollars seems a little high to me for a small-sized pie, but Achatz only uses ingredients that are grown and produced in Michigan (when possible). That's a practice for which I will gladly eat the cost.



I'll also gladly eat the pie! Doesn't that look like heaven? You can always tell when an item of food has been prepared with love and care - regardless if it's one pie or one of a thousand.

It's also pleasantly yummy! Of course, I've never really had a bad piece of pumpkin pie before, but I'm sure they exist (Denny's, I'm looking in your direction.) I'm afraid my mom's and grandma's pies still beat it, but for a pre-made dessert it's a real winner.

The best part is actually the crust. Pumpkin pie is heavy and it typically has a heavy crust to go with it. Not so here. It's light, fluffy and flaky and was clearly hand-pressed. Give it up for Achatz, their name doesn't lie.

Rating: 8/10 - No baking skills? No problem! Take it to a party and bask in the utter failure of the loser who brought the cherry pie.

E-mail me at mibeerguy@yahoo.com and I'll mail you a piece of pie. In an envelope.

Beer Review: Dark Horse Brewery beer trio

Did you know there are more than 70 breweries in Michigan? No joke! The Michigan Brewer's Guild has worked hard to brand Michigan as "The Great Beer State," and, if one were to bestow such an honor upon one of the U.S.A.'s 50, the Wolverine State would certainly be in the running for No. 1. "Yo, California, I'm really happy for ya and imma let you finish, but Michigan has some of the best beers of ALL TIME."

And I've reviewed, what? Beers from MAYBE a dozen different companies? My God! I really am uninformed! Granted, not all brewpubs sell their beers statewide, and those that do tend to have their shelf space squeezed a bit by big boys like Bell's. But neither man nor blog can thrive without growth, so today I'll be giving the ol' critical appraisal of two beers from Dark Horse Brewing Co. located in Marshall, MI near Battle Creek. "Yo, Bell's, I'm reallyah this joke was dead the day after 'Ye did it.



Name: Perkulator Coffee Dopplebock
Variety: Dopplebock
ABV: 7.5%
Price: ~ $7-8 four pack

Coffee beer alert!

Geez, I hope I don't get sued by The Drudge Report for that. Anyways, my layout is better than Drudge's. And my content.

Yes, anyways, COFFEE BEER! Note that the beers in the first and second picture BOTH say "Perkulator" on the label. That's because the beer has two different labels! One has espresso machines blasting off and the other has the Devil (or at least some named lesser demon) drinking a cup of coffee. What the Devil has to do with coffee I'm not sure. Though I admit I've felt more than a little possessed after some cups of coffees incidentswhichIwon'tdiscussherethankyouverymuch.



Pours very thick and dark with an almost non-existent head. On the nose, Perkulator smells heavily of strong, black coffee. The scent is heavily roasted, and I was reminded of an upscale coffee shop while I was smelling it. Flavor-wise, WHOA. Coffee coffee coffee. Strong, to boot. The first sip gave me gooseflesh in the same manner as a cup of espresso does. The finish is quite cool, owning to the beer's strong-bodied, smooth nature.

Strong, bracing and tough, it doesn't shy away from its coffee nature with the tempering of chocolate flavor that most breweries add to make it more appealing. Perkulator pulls no punches, and I loved it for that. Available only in the fall, and it appears to be going fast. Find it while you can!

Rating: 9/10 - "Stronger."



Name: Scotty Karate
Variety: Scotch Ale
ABV: 9.75%
Price: ~$7-8 four pack

Apparently this beer is named after a one-band man musician near Marshall. That explains the trippy label!

Aren't one-man bands a funny thing? I'm sure it's difficult, but the end result is almost always completely annoying. Like when you see a guy riding a unicycle in public. You want to applaud and throw a rock at him at the same time.



Scotty pours an attractive reddish-amber with a thick khaki head. Scent seems heavily malted to me with a lingering fruity-chocolateyness. Taste is very earthy, very nearly that of peat like an actual scotch. Not particularly smooth and somewhat bleagh inducing. Didn't meet my expectations for what I'm used to from Scotch ales.

No secret, I didn't care for this beer, but it seems I'm the only one. I told my friend Jeff that I didn't like it and he was nearly beside himself. Is it a Soft Parade situation again? It kinda feels like it. I'd be willing to give it another try since maybe my expectations were interfering the first time, but for now I'm not chopping boards in excitement.

This is a seasonal offering too, so if you doubt my opinion then be sure to disprove me before winter ends.

Rating: 4/10 - "Love Lockdown."



Name: Crooked Tree IPA
Variety: India Pale Ale
ABV: 6%
Price: ~$10 six pack

Bonus beer! Initially this review was just going to be Perkulator and Scotty Karate, but wouldn't you know it? I bought beer on my last school night of the week. Actually, this sort of counts as a liveblog since I'm drinking Crooked Tree as I'm writing this! Not as you're reading this. Unless you're reading this as I'm writing this, in which case quit looking over my shoulder. No one likes a lookie-loo.



Pour is a cloudy amber with a bubbly eggshell head that sticks around. Aroma is nicely sweet, more fruity than floral. Dry, dull bitterness hangs around from start to finish - dry, well-balanced, and a very drinkable IPA. Not the most amazing or inspiring one I've had, but a solid beer!

Rating: 7/10 - "Homecoming."

E-mail me at mibeerguy@yahoo.com if you've got any questions, comments, or suggestions! Or if you want to mock my taste in music.

Or old jokes.

Product Reviews: Garden Fresh Gourmet Blue Corn Tortilla Chips and Artichoke Garlic Salsa

Confession time! I love junk food. I know probably figured this out already, with the nachos and brownies and the beer and the what-have-you. I swear! I'll do a healthy, vegan, localvore, fair-trade review sometime soon. But today.... CHIPS!

Name: Blue Corn Tortilla Chips and Artichoke Garlic Salsa
Company: Garden Fresh Gourmet
Location: Ferndale, MI
Price: $4-5 for 13 oz. bag of chips, $3-4 for 16 oz. salsa



Fun fact: there's no blue food! Blue corn and the subsequent chips they produce are more of a purplish-ink color. I guess "blue" sells better than "inky."

Way back in my nachos review I claimed that Ann Arbor Tortilla Factory makes the best nacho chips anywhere. After trying the Garden Fresh Gourmet variety, I stand by this statement. The GFG chips are reasonably tasty, but there's not much here to distinguish them from the cheapie chips we're all familiar with (other than the GFG ingredients are probably better). Mostly I'm disappointed in the texture. They're thin and a little crumbly. I like my chips to snap and crack audibly when I bite them, and the crunch just isn't there.

The salsa, however, is lovely. Garlic is probably one of my favorite food "ingredients," up there with olive oil and kosher salt. This salsa is chock full of it, with visible pieces of cloves and artichoke floating around in a familiar pico de gallo base. The heat is mild, but the flavor is strong. Make sure you've got some gum handy if you happen to eat this on a date.

Chips Rating: 6/10 - Not bad for the price, but nothing special by themselves.
Salsa Rating: 8/10 - Death breath never tasted so good!

Beer review: A Chorus of Bell's

Ach, why does school have to start RIGHT when the best season for beer kicks off? I've got a whole mess of beers to review piling up and I can't get to them because of the McKinley-sized pile of assignments I'm buried under! Why can't school be out again?!

So, today you're getting a special treat: three beers in one! (Note: Do not mix these three beers together). Each of these is from the fabled Bell's Brewing Company in Kalamazoo, MI. And good news for my friends and family following this blog from other states: You can probably buy these beers in your state!



Name: The Oracle DIPA Ale
Variety: Double IPA
ABV: 10.4%
Price: $3-4 per bottle

Woohoo! New beer! That's right - this isn't a seasonal that I missed or a regular ol' offering that my shiftless ass just got around to trying. The Oracle is BRAND NEW!







It's SO new it's not even listed on Bell's' Web site! Don't believe me? Go check. I'll wait. Hah! See? Now that you trust me, let me tell you who was REALLY behind the Kennedy assassination...



It was Dr. Doom! More importantly, the beer. It pours a delightful brown-amber with a foamy off-white head that lingers beautifully. The scent? Complex as hell. I must have smelled this beer for a minute, trying to pin down what notes I was picking up. Oddly enough, this beer smells quite a bit like fresh-cut pineapple to me! I guess it's maybe the citrus notes of the hops mingling with the heavy alcohol of the beer, but I smelt what I smelt. Peppery, bubbly pineapple.

I'm starting to take notes as I taste beer, since I sometimes come to this blog and... have.... pain.... with word.... stuff. The first words I wrote down were "spiky taste, hot." Indeed, it is quite sharp and bitter. It puts a fair amount of heat on the tongue, and it reminded me a fair amount of my first review Founders Devil Dancer. Oracle seems to be more bitter with less of the cooling after taste of DD. All in all, a VERY solid double IPA, but worth almost $4 a bottle? Not on a regular basis for me.

Rating: 8/10 - Sharp, well-balanced and certainly worth a taste.



Name: Best Brown Ale
Variety: Brown ale (duh)
ABV: 5.8%
Price: ~$10 six pack

I have SO been waiting for this. Bell's Best Brown is sort of their winter complement to Oberon - dark, dry and befitting the long, cold Michigan winters when the mind takes a turn for the introspective, and moods become ruminative. Also, I LOVE OWLS. I'm seriously batty about birds (heh), and owls are a particular obsession of mine. The owl on the label is a boreal owl, a small bird of prey known for its "angry" face. I've never seen one in person, but the day I do I will be sure to tell you lot.



Guess what? A brown ale pours a rich, brown color. The head is thin and snappy, suggesting dry carbonation that seems incongruous with dark-colored beers. The scent is a pleasant blend of smoke and nuts, with a stalwart oaky and woody background. "Reminds me of an old, picturesque barn," I've scrawled in my notes (read: ramblings).

Confession time: I've had this before. I know it tastes good. But! Now I get to describe it for you. Ummmmmmmm..... it's good! It's rich and creamy but with a dry, satisfying finish. Malts, oats, and a bit of bitterness thrown in for good measure. FACTUALLY TESTED: It pairs well with sweets! I was starving one winter night when I was drinking this and all I had was brownie bites from Trader Joe's. Imagine my surprise when the two tastes enhanced each other! You never know what will work, people.

Rating: 9/10 - Pleasant, drinkable, but with a slight attitude. Just like that little ol' owl on the bottle!



Name: Kalamazoo Stout
Variety: Stout (duh, again)
ABV: 6%
Price: ~$12 six pack

Annnnnd here's that shiftless ass I was talking about. Kalamazoo Stout is available year-round; I've just never gotten around to it. Hey! Remember that about a month or so ago, I was scared of stouts. They were too stout for me! Stouts are the Conan of beers and I'm more or less Woody Allen. Without the weird life choices.



Coffee beer! Pours midnight dark, with a thick, foamy, tan head. The scent is heavily roasted with a bit of deep molasses-licorice notes. The taste is mighty. Smacks you down. One sip and you're in a UFC-level beatdown of dark, sinful flavors. Roasted malts, dark coffee, and creamy texture meld into a heavenly amalgam that finishes clean and leaves you wanting more.

Most surprising is how drinkable this beer is. Stouts are usually quite filling - you finish one, you're done. You've got a brick in your stomach. But the K-zoo Stout feels quite light despite its overall rich qualities. Watch out, Breakfast Stout! I've found a new, exciting flavor of love.

Rating: 10/10 - Deep, rich, and flawless. It'll make you a believer in the Dark Side.