In my life, I've only taken a handful of trips that could be described as "pilgrimages." Pictured Rocks was one. Sagamore Hill was another. And if Bill Watterson ever decides to speak in public again, that will be a third.
My short visit to the Founders taproom in Grand Rapids didn't have the deep, personal fulfillment that would constitute a fourth spirit quest. But holy smokes, was it ever worth the 2-3 hour drive. Good beer is worth inconveniencing yourself for, especially when the beer in question is available nowhere else in the world. Not to mention some of the best in the world.
And it was my solemn duty to try as many new beers as possible. Were I a stouter fella, I would have tried them all since the same beer from the bottle and from the tap can taste wildly different. But I was the one doing the driving, and getting a DUI would have put a damper on the experience, I think, so I had to limit myself to just SOME of the new stuff.
I apologize if these reviews seem truncated. I didn't take notes since I was at a bar, not MATH CLASS, and it was too dark to take good photos. But! I can at the very least remember what I likes, so here's what I likes.
Name: Black IPA
Variety: India Pale Ale
ABV: 6.6%
Price: ~$3 for 12 oz.
Unsurprisingly, pours black with a tan head. Thicker than a typical IPA but not as thick as a stout, or possibly even a porter. Scent is similar to Founders Centennial IPA, but the taste is creamier and more roasted while retaining a nice hoppy quality.
Rating: 8/10 - Nice variation on a familiar beer. Wish I had picked up a growler of it. This is my face right now.
Name: Hand of Doom
Variety: Double IPA
ABV: 10.5%
Price: ~$7 for 12 oz.
Seven dollars for a single beer?! What am I, some sort of combination of Rich Uncle Pennybags and Mr. Burns? What could possibly justify such a cost?
HAND OF DOOM, that's what. I'm gonna skip over pour and scent and just tell you straight-up that this beer kicks major ass. Insane hops bring a tumbling, creamy cavalcade of citrus onto your palate that never lets up. Intoxicating in every sense of the word, it was very difficult to not buy more than one.
Rating: 10/10. Founders, bottle this now. PLEASE. Doing so might very well result in world peace.
Name: Newaygo County Cherry
Variety: Fruit Beer
ABV: 8.5%
Price: ~$7 for 12 oz.
This was the other super specialty beer on the menu, and I can understand why. The bartender said it was brewed with cherries from Newaygo County that had been allowed to ferment in maple bourbon barrels for 130 days. THAT'S what you'd call a pure Michigan ingredient.
The result is a beer that pours a lovely pale red color with a pinky head. Scent and taste is heavily of creamy cherries. Taste reminded me very much of cherry conserves. Not too sweet and not too tart, this is one of the best fruit beers I've ever had.
Rating: 9/10 - Great seasonal offering, and wholly unique.
Name: Spite Pepper Pale Ale
Variety: Spiced Beer
ABV: 5.5%?
Price: ~$3 for 12 oz.
Spite Pepper is an aptly named beer. The finish on the drink can be best likened to someone holding a pepper grinder over your open mouth and giving it two good turns.
It's harsh. And my circumstances while drinking this beer were particularly ill-suited to its brutish nature. You see, to curb my growing inebriation, I decided to partake in one of Founders' delicious deli sandwiches that they serve at the taproom. I chose the Devil Dancer. This is what is in the Devil Dancer.
Roasted Chicken, Muenster And Pepper Jack, Jalapeno, Chipotle And Banana Peppers, Red Onion And Chipotle Mayo On A French Roll.
You think this sandwich is spicy? It is! That's why I picked it! I love spicy foods, but when you pair a spicy sandwich with a drink that is NEARLY AS SPICY, you run in to trouble.
Spite Pepper isn't bad, but it HAS to be paired with something smoother and cooler than it. Some nice cheese or chocolate would probably work very well - I just got unlucky.
Rating: 3/10 - Purely circumstantial. Don't make my mistake.
Name: Super Gold
Variety: Golden Ale
ABV: 5%? Can't remember. May be less.
Price: ~$3 for 12 oz.
Pours golden with a bubbly whitish head. Forgot to smell this one! That's what happens when you take the work out of drinking beer, kids. Flavor was crisp, clean and balanced. A bit of a lightweight offering compared with some of their more oddball stuff, but not bad.
Rating: 6/10 - Good for beginners. More seasoned beer fans can pass it and not miss out.
The taproom itself is lovely. It's very classy, with liberal use of hardwood and Founders iconography. The space is wide open with many large tables for large or small groups. I went on a Friday night, so it was pretty packed, but it didn't feel overly crowded.
However, there are few if any intimate spaces to be found - no booths or tables for two, or even partitions to break up the space. People craving entertainment from their bars will also be disappointed with the lone pool table by the entrance. At Founders, you better be ready to drink beer and socialize, because that's what you're going to do.
But the staff was courteous, fast, and well-informed. The crowd was happy and welcoming, and the overall atmosphere was jovial. If I lived in Grand Rapids, I'd probably go here every week - and not just for the ridiculously good beers.
Rating: 9/10 - Must be on the "To Visit" short list of any Michigan beer lover.
But! I'm not yet done! This month also saw the release of Founders wet-hopped Harvest Ale. Typically, hops are dried before they are used in the brewing process. This is because fresh or "wet" hops are only available for a short time out of the year. That time is right now!
Name: Harvest Ale
Variety: IPA
ABV: 6.5%
Price: ~$11 four pack
The beer pours astonishingly clear, with an orange-gold color. The head on mine died quickly, but I think it was because my glass was wet and it killed the carbonation a little bit. Whoops.
Scent reminds me of wet grasses and straw. "Picturesque old barn" is what I wrote down following the first whiff. The grassy, fresh feeling carries over to the taste as well. It's funny, but this beer really does taste "juicier" than most ales. The finish is pleasantly fluid and smooth. Unlike any beer I've tasted before, but surprisingly drinkable!
Rating: 9/10 - October release only! Get it while it's fresh!
E-mail me about how jealous you are to mibeerguy@yahoo.com.
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